I think I am finally willing to embrace the truth that life is about change.
And willing to celebrate change as if it were a piece of the most delicious chocolate cake or the feeling you get when you watch your kid achieve something that allows them to shine or when you have a day out with your spouse and are reminded of what brought you together in the first place or that feeling you get when you walk out of a yoga class and feel at complete peace with yourself.
I have worked most of my life trying to get everything in its place, thinking that when I did, only then I would realize the joy of life. I am finding out that it doesn't work that way; regardless of how hard I try.
One of my yoga posture dreams is to do a standing split in standing bow. Every time I come into class to practice I imagine what this accomplishment would look like. I have wanted it so badly at times, that I have hurt myself by pushing too hard. And I believe that how you practice your yoga is a clear example of how you live your life. For better and for worse. And for me, it seems that to use my practice to look at myself and determine what is well for me and what is not, will only allow for me to do things outside of my yoga practice that actually encourage a joyful life.
Over these past several years, while running the yoga studio, some of my biggest personal growth spurts have taken place. And with the growth spurts, so much change has found it's way into my life. I am sure change has always been there, but I was always too busy trying to control it and trying to push too hard to make it fit into my life in the way I wanted. I used to be a person that could plan out a day, a week, a party, a vacation minute by minute and I would make sure everything went as planned. What I have learned from running the studio is that there simply is no way around change. Things come up that I have absolutely no control over and somehow I must find a way to adapt. I am finding that I don't have or simply do not want to use the energy to fight against change any longer.
As I sit and write this, I wonder how this recent realization will unfold and I imagine that once I am beyond the phase of sitting in the middle, wondering what changes to make and how to make them, that things will work out wonderfully. I do know that, if what I have been gifted through all of my experiences, with all of you, at this yoga studio is any indication of what the rest of my life will bring, I have a lot to look forward to and be excited about.
Thank you for that.
I wish for you to continue with your practice through the holiday season and in the coming year. And if you haven't practiced in a while, I welcome you to come back.
It is truly the best thing you can give to yourself.